I made it!

The end of the semester is her. I have one more final tomorrow, but it's just a presentation of a unit I created so I'm pretty much golden. I don't think a semester has ever flown by as fast as this one. I am fairly certain I have never worked this hard or cared as much about the quality of work I have done, and I KNOW that I have never learned more than I have this semester. I learned about myself, my students, teaching, english, writing writing, all kinds of awesome stuff. One of the things I was not expecting an education in was this... technology. For those who know me, you know I'm not the most tech savvy guy. So when I learned I'd have class centered on its incorporation in the classroom I was less than thrilled. I had read plenty about people using it successfully in the classroom and I had seen it's rewards in Philly, but I assumed it worked for "those" teachers and I could get around it. As alway my own ignorance and stubbornness threatened my learning and growth.

As the semester went on I saw first hand the benefits of technology; both for me and my students. Each student in PDS recieved an Ipad which were to use for professional growth. We used it mostly for blogging but we were also required to film ourselves teaching and post it with a reflection for ourselves and peers. I was required to keep a blog for my students, as well as interact on a blog for my peers. I really found this useful and started this blog as a way to reflect further and share my experiences. Technology really is a gift and a tool we can give to our students. Ignoring it would be as foolish as not talking about the current occupy wallstreet movement in a government class. This is current and a huge aspect of our kids life. Theres all kinds of exciting stuff out there that our kids can do, and for me to push that aside because I'm not that great with it is selfish.

So here's a sneak peek at my new years resolution: I want to be more active, professional and responsible with my technology. I'm going to blog and tweet daily and I'm deleting my facebook and replacing it with a more professional profile. Over break I'm going to working feverishly on my unit plans. I'll keep everyone updated with my progress and maybe try some things out on you. Anyway I made it; it's awesome to know that this is just the beginning!

PS
I know you all have heard me mention my co-op from Philly. He recently did something really awesome for me and featured me on his blog in hopes that he and his community of teachers could assist me. Here's a link to see his blog and a video of him so you get a sense og who he is and why he has such an impact on me. I'm really blessed to have him as a mentor, thanks a lot Chase!

http://autodizactic.com/blog/?p=1651

Some Inspirational Stuff from me to you

As alway, the week before finals week is chaos. I have soooo soooo much going on, and not a lot of time to do it. But I don't want to leave you guys hanging because I know it has already been over a week. So here's some stuff that gets me through stress.

You Reading This, Be Ready

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life -

What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?
~ William Stafford ~
This is a really awesome story some of you may know, if you don't I'd encourage you to watch it.


Again some of you may know this, but this for me is really just the video on how to live

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Its amazing how much a little Thanksgiving break can change your perspective. I left feeling drained, overwhelmed and pretty on edge, and now I'm backhand I am still a bit intimidated at the work ahead of me but I'm refreshed and confident. It may just be the fact that I finally got to eat some decent, complete meals courtesy of my lovely mother, or it could be that Augusta found my long lost wallet, giving me an exta $70, a Barnes and noble gift card and my social security card back. I think it's more than though, for me I think the most nourishing thing I received this weekend was a healthy dose of home. I don't mean the building located on 16 Hawthorne Dr, I mean a law night on the couch watching movies with my dog, a family dinner, waking up to a mom who not only has he coffee made but already did the laundry I fully intended to do myself. Home to me is watching football with my dad, having dessert at the udder with Lil J and spending a night at a bar with Trevor and talking about my future and for the first time in awhile feeling content about it, regardless of the job market. Thorough said instead of fame or love or money give me truth, and for me I don't find truth anywhere but home, with he people I love. Now I'm back in the Ville and I'm staring at at to do list of presentations, papers and unit plans all of which are due in he next 9 days, but I'm ok with it.

The classroom is all too often a miror image of my pre-thanksgiving life. Students become tired, overwhelmed and irritable. Their effort begins to decrease along with their sleep and soon they spend the entire class thinking of all he work they have to do and wanting to pull their hair out, or perhaps may hair. The question is, why? What are our goals for piling work and driving our students to unprecedented stress levels? Well I can't say I have an answer for that. I'm guessing somewhere along he lines this approach was thought to prepare kids for SATs, Colleen nd the real world. And we are, we're preparing them for a lifetime of feeling stressed, inadequate and pressured. We're teaching them to cram, copy, cheat and procastinate. If you ask me, I don't want that, not of or me and no for my students. Kids need to be encouraged and refreshed, and at times they need to takea break from the curriculum and just talk. I don't intend for my class to be people's "home," but for some students that may be just what they need. In my life, I need breaks, and if I said it once I'll say it a hundred times: teach the way you live, live the way you teach.

Overcoming Annoyance

So Friday I had an interesting day. I was tired. This is nothing new, I burn the candle on both ends with teaching, working, studying, TV, movies and all sorts of other shenanigans. You all are no stranger to this feeling of just being worn out that hits you on a Friday. I was pumped because my co-op had this grammar scavenger hunt for the kids to do, so I would not have too much to deal with. I was planning on meandering through the day, making some conversation with the kids as they went along their hunt and overall just relax. You know that saying about how you can make God laugh? Tell him your plans. yea well it's true.

It all went so well until 6th period. This boy, lets call him Corey, comes in. Now what you need to know about Corey is he's immature, doesn't fit in, will do anything for a laugh and to feel like he fits in and has a shitty home life. He's one of those kids that you totally understand why he's having a rough time, but you still don't like him. So Friday he's bouncing off the walls during this scavenger hunt and I can't get him to focus. I talk to him repeatedly, yet still his partners doing all the work while he's bouncing around from group to group getting on people's last nerve in hopes of a laugh. So finally I insert myself into his group and he begins to focus a bit.

At this point lunch lets out and the hallways flood with kids. I'm talking to Corey's partner when I see him get his "I'm about to piss someone off" grin on his face. A girl, lets call her Dejonae, walks by and Corey yells "HI DEJONAE!" and trys to touch her. She immediately is in his face and yells "I fu*kin told you if you ever talk to me again I'll strangle you!" and walks away. I'm fighting th urge to laugh because In my head I know this kid has probably been waring her down for weeks and only said hi to her for this reaction. Corey looks right to me and demands justice. I tell him I didn't know the girl and I ask him what he did to deserve that reaction. He flips. Yelling about how "this school sucks" "None of the teachers care" and he goes on and on so I say alright were going to the room.

This is where teacher Spencer has to fight normal Spencer. Normal Spencer wants to tell this kid to man up, stop acting like a little girl throwing a fit and maybe stop bothring kids he knows wants to beat him up. I take a deep breath. I look him in the eye. I say "Corey we need to talk about self control. I am constantly having to tell you to get on task. You yell out inappropriate things, you leave your seat and if you had some more self control you wouldn't have intentionally bothered that girl. That being said, I'm sorry I didn't do anything, I was focusing on your partner who had a question. If you feel threatened by her, we'll go to the office and report it right now." I'm pretty proud of that response. He didn't like it so much. He began to explain to me how he was on task, how I didn't care, how no teacher cares and how that girl had no right and he was just being nice by saying hi. He tells me she's going to get her friends to beat him up. "ok," i said. "Lets go talk to the principle then."
"No."he says. "If we do that he's just going to call my dad and he'll be mad at me and he'll just hit me."

Now my stomach drops. I have no idea what to say to that. I say "what do you mean by that?"

He says "Nothing. It doesn't matter noone cares. We'll Just let her friends beat me up. I hope they beat me real bad so everyone feels bad. I hope they kill me."

Now I'm kind of just getting pissed because he's saying stuid things that I know are for attention. I say "Corey, don't say things like that."

He says "Why, I mean it. It would be better if I was dead." "Alright I say were going to the counseling office then."

The bells going to ring for lunch in 8 min and his whole expression changes. "No, I'm fine I already was down there today and I dont want to miss lunch."

"Corey," I say probably lacking a certain amount of compassion. "This isn't option, you can't say things like that and expect me to do nothing."

"No," he pleads. "I didnt mean it, I was joking she's not going to do anything, and I don't want to die."

"Well you know what Corey," I say showing him that I'm not laughing. "I brought you up here to talk to you man to man about self-control. You told me you didn't have a problem, that it was my problem. Now your saying all this stuff you said wasn't true. Well maybe next time, you'll have a bit more self control, but for now we have to go to the counseling office because I'm not equipped to handle what you've been saying."

So we went. ANd we chatted for about 30 min. In the end I got to express that I do indeed care for him. The counselor showed him how all his problems stem from his own actions. ANd I reported the threat to the vice principal, even though he, the counselor and I all agreed it was empty and probably warranted. This was the first time I've had to put a students needs before my own personal thoughts and feelings. My gut wanted to turn and walk away as soon as I heard that girl yell at him. Part of me wanted to send him to the room before that even happened for acting like an idiot instead of doing his work. This was the first time I really realized that my classrooms are going to have kids that I probably won't like, and that's ok. The problem comes when I neglect the needs of that student because of my personal feelings toward them.

I don't think I handled this encounter perfectly. In the future I hope to exercise a lot more patience. However I saw it through to the end and kept my emotions in check. Overall I was relatively pleased with that. I'm going to try to post again before Thanksgiving, I apologize the posts have been so sparce lately. If I don't though I want you all to know how thankful I am for this blog. It's awesome to have a space to not only share my experiences with you but also for myself to reflect on them. Most of all I'm thankful for all of you. I know I don't contact any of you enough individually, but your love, support and prayers mean the world to me.

Lets play catch up

So it's been a crazy week right? I haven't posted on here in 7 days and it's crazy how fast they went and the amount of "stuff" that we all have been faced to endure in those 7 days. Think about your last week, what sticks out to you. Here's my highlights, or maybe not so high for some, Penn State, true love, talked to my sister on the phone, talked to Trevor on the phone, my cousin from West Chester visited, created a 5 week unit plan with my partner, started researching a paper on alcoholism in the lives of Lost Generation Writers, met with Chad and discussed my faith or lack there of recently, battled a cold, realized my bank account is low, had an email exchange with my mentor from the Philly Seminar, had a family dinner with my Dads family, had a heart to heart with a struggling friend, Barney kissed Robin on How I Met Your Mother, Read The Great Gatsby, The Dolphins won, my dolphin chair got stolen, watched Crazy Stupid Love yada, yada, yada. Life is flying and honestly this list could have went on and on and I'm sure all of your lists do the same. The days don't get longer you know? And all this stuff piles up. I've got 100 projects, papers and books that have rapidly approaching due dates. Meanwhile I'm helping friends deal with their problems, because thats important to me. I'm fighting a cold, I'm worried I don't work out enough, I'm questioning love and faith and all the while I'm trying to convince 8th graders that grammar is fun. I don't know what to do about it all. It all seems so important and conflicting.

Natalie Goldberg who is an avid writer and does all kinds of talks and books on how to use writing as an outlet calls stress a state of ignorance. It makes us feel as if everything is an emergency when in reality, nothing is that important. I like this quote a lot but at the same time those due dates are still there, right? They never go away. And the deeper stuff, the faith issues, the love issues, the struggling friends stuff.. thats never going away either. I told my struggling friend that the show How I Met Your Mother is like therapy for me. Because above all it reminds me that it's all a journey, it's all relevant and it will ultimately all be ok. And she catered that analogy to her life by saying maybe this "guy" who has me all twisted up inside right now in the grand scheme of thing is just one episode. I think this simple lens of looking at things is so beautiful and true, all of it the stolen the chair, the cold, the grammar lessons it's all an episode, just one of Ted's illfated romances on the way to finding his true love. If you don't watch this show I'm sorry and you should, but I think you get the point. And here's the cool part, in the midst of all the crap life throws our way: the deadlines, the heartaches, the colds, all of it, there's the sweet stuff. The Dolphins won, I talke to Trev for over an hour, I got an email from my mentor and I had an awesome dinner with my family. So as I continue to form my life to relect who I want to be as a teacher, I'd say I want to take time to reflect with my students on whats going on in their lives. To bitch about the bad, and celebrate the awesome. Because in looking for the sparkle, among all the 'stuff' everything, even grammar, becomes tolerable.

Here's one of my all time favorite videos, speeches, songs whatever you want to call it. Watch it, and be inspired to deal with all the "stuff"

Teaching more than just English

Currently I am reading a book which came highly recommended to me this summer when I was working in Philly. It's called The COurage to teach by Parker Palmer, and it's a very refreshing look at what it is to teach. The subtitle of the book is "Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher" and Palmer's main purpose behind writing the book is that teaching is a heart thing, not a brain thing. He talks about how teaching needs to be a harmony of intellectual, emotional and spiritual enterprises and that identity and integrity come before content.

Parker says that "identity and integrity are not the granite from which fictional heroes are hewn. They are subtle dimensions of the comple, demanding and life long process of self-discovery. Identity lies in the intersection of of the diverse forces that make up my life, and integrity lies in relating to those forces in ways that bring me wholeness and life rather than fragmentation and death." I think this is a very personal and tangible definition of these two words. And while I love the Parker's insight into both the heart and profession of a teacher, I can't help but examine myself and wonder how my identity and integrity will hold up in the classroom.

Identity is tricky because it's not only what you believe to be true of yourself, but it's what others perceive to be true of you. More and more I'm finding that my own view of myself does not alway align with these outside perceptions. Sometimes the perceptions are off, but other times I find I'm the one who is mistaken; that my actions aren't quite measuring up to the bar I've set for myself. So that's something I am definitely trying to work on, but I think that either way this is where integrity comes in. I've been blessed to come fro ma family that ha modeled integrity for me since I can remember. My parents, my grandparents, both of them have always taken the hand the were dealt and played it the best they could, and they did so without compromising their own moral code.

Thus far in my classroom experience I have had no trouble getting kids to like me. My energy, personality, sense of humor they all play into this persona that the kids really gravitate to. Yet if I were to die tomorrow, I can't say my actions would have inspired any of them to live better. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not judging myself to harshly, I have only been in the classroom for 2 months so obviously I'm not perfect, but it's something to think about. I mean regardless of your profession i think you have to have a strong sense of who you are and you have to do your job with a certain amount of integrity. Anyway, I don't really have much insight for you, all I can say is I'm trying to be better and I hope that I never stop trying to be better. Here's two videos that I think speak to this rather well.

Some days, it just seems like work..

Teaching for me is a passion. It's something that I wake up in the morning and I crave. But like anything else, sometimes it's just work. We had a substitute today, so Erika (the student teacher in my room, who co-teaches with me) were running the show. We were in day 2 of a huge Grammar unit, which sucks for us and them. So were thrown into this unit with a bunch of 8th graders and our big plans for the day our 2 pre-tests, a worksheet and a video. Just when you thought it couldn't get any more fun guess what, the video doesn't work, our co-op leaves us a note saying instead of watching the video we'll just present the answers to the worksheet that they would have filled out while watching. So we have this lesson plan thats not fun and and we have really no interest in teaching but we have on saving grace. A brainteaser activity we pulled up that allowed them to get up and move around and have a little fun. And for the first two periods that was enough. The kids actually had a decent time all things considering, we had a bunch of digressions- talking about everything from college life to Destiny's child, but we got all done and no one gauged their eyes out. The came that one pd. The class that can't sit stil that loves to shout across the room and cannot neither take notes quietly or digress and return to the topic successfully. They took one look at the substitute and I knew it was game over. The rest of the class was an uphill battle in a canoe. Me trying every method i can think of to bring them back. There were small successes followed by immediate and colossal reverses and by the end of the period we had finished half of the work of the other classes, questions of legitimate students when unanswered and my sails were at the bottom of the ocean.

Ultimately I don't hold it against them. I used to be those kids. Hassling the sub, having too much fun. But it still really sucks to stand in front of a room of 25 kids and believe there's really nothing I can do to turn it around. After this I was just tired. I sat through my classes at MU and thought about what I could do to change it, without sacrificing my teaching persona, and honestly I came up with nothing, All I was, was tired. Sometimes I feel so untouchable, like I can face anything the class throws at me and I'm a dynamite teacher, yada yada. But I'm not, and I probably never well be. Because when you have all the answers and every day is problem free it means you're not learning and their not learning. Somedays it's gonna feel like work, other days im going to be on cloud 9. But what matters is the passion. As long as I have that I don't need all the answers, nor do I want them.

"The last clear definite function of man—muscles aching to work, minds aching to create beyond the single need—this is man. To build a wall, to build a house, a dam, and in the wall and house and dam to put something of Manself, and to Manself take back something of the wall, the house the dam; to take hard muscles from the lifting, to take the clear lines and form from conceiving. For man, unlike any other thing organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments." John Steinback The Grapes of Wrath

Just for kicks

So I haven't posted alot of videos recently so I just wanted to show you some stuff I have been into recently.

This video's pretty intense but sooooo soooo good

This one is equally as powerful but also funny


Finally this one is funny and surprisingly profound.I feel like this kid really gets some of the bull shit that goes hand-in-hand with structured religion


I've been getting really into this slam poetry. I just think it's really impressive/powerful stuff, I've been writing some of my own I just don't know if I have the confidence and memory to ever read it. But if you like what you see let me know and I can recommend some stuff for you.

PS I just want to encourage everyone to become a member of my blog and comment on stuff, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Somethings you can count on.... even when it snows in october

Death and taxes right? For me I think there is a little bit more that we can depend on in this crazy life. For instance, even when the Dolphins were up 14-0 today i knew they would lose, and they did. I also knew that having homecoming and halloween fall on the same weekend at a college campus could bring no good, and again i was right. I don't need to get into specifics, but lets just say drama happened. Drama is nothing new, but sometimes it gets piled on to the point where you feel like you may just have to start over, new friends, new school, everything. Sophocles said "to be born is to know tragedy," and he knew a thing or two about life and drama. But where as drama is unpredictable and seems to pop up out of nowhere there are always things you can count on to counteract it. Alcohol is not one. It makes things much worse. However I've found that friendship and honesty really can take care of everything. I was faced with multiple conflicts this weekend; some of which I was in the wrong, other's I had been wronged but in each situation I went right to the source and talked it out face to face. People often forget that interpersonal relationships are best conducted in the same room;Not via text or facebook. It was amazing to me how these people all commented how much it meant that i went to them face-to-face. It was just incredible to me that they would expect anything less. The second thing I learned, or was at least reminded of, that I can count on is friends. SO i had this issue and basically someone had said some stuff about me that wasn't true to a person I care about and because of that, that person was hurt. So three things happened to fix that. 1) My roommate Travis who I've become pretty close with stayed up and talked with me about it. This was pretty easy considering him and I decided to share our bed out of pure necessity to survival. You see despite the fact that it snowed saturday, my landlord had not had our furnace lit yet, so our house was literally an igloo. So we had no choice but to share our resources of blankets, plus I have a big bed. So Travis really helped me that night by listening and helping me figure out what to do. Second, I woke up to a missed call from Trevor. And this really just made me realize that a lot of this shit doesn't matter. As I mentioned in a previous post I'm seriously blessed to have friends like I do, so if people want to write me off over lies thats fine. The third thing was that the people involved who I care about listened to me. They didn't write me off and they chose to trust me. Because of that I was honest and things are mended.

So there are some obvious classroom implications to this story. A mentor of mine once told me that a great teacher teaches the way he lives and lives the way he teaches (I may have quoted that before) and it honestly the best advice I've heard. This is exactly how I'm goin to manage my classroom. Drama and conflict are inevitable, even in schools. Whether its between me anda student, two students, or me and another teacher, it will happen. And I need to deal with it in an honest, up-front manner.

In my own life though, I've realized I have tobe careful who I trust, and I also need to be someone who can be trusted. And regardless of what happens I have my friends and family's support. Sophocles is a little bit of a downer. Personally I'd rather focus on C.S. Lewis who said (basically) friends are like art and philosophy. They have no survival value. However they give surviving value. And while I may not be able to count on things like the transition between seasons,my friends will always be there, I'm as sure of that as I am about the dolphins ability to shit away game.

The True Measuring Stick

I just finished a book called Deadline by Chris Crutcher. You may remember me referencing Crutcher in a post last week from when I returned from the PATELA Conference. He is the author that despite winning YA book of they ear multiple times is often banned from schools due to subject matter. In short, this book is about a highschool senior who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and chooses to not only refuse treatment, but to keep it a secret from everyone: his parents, his brother, his girlfriend, everyone. He also decides he's going to live the final year to the fullest. The stories awesome and goes places you wouldn't imagine diggin deep into the pain and struggle each of us carries around day to day. Crutcher also makes alot of heavy statements about life, love, relationships, religion, trust and about every other human thing you can imagine. It's amazing that a guy with so much heart and wisdom could be banned from schools.

One of the major statements that struck me in the book was regarding love. Ben, the main character, has numerous dream interactions with Jesus (pronounced Hey-soos) who is definitely not the traditional Jesus we're used to, but possesses a lot of the same ideas. Ben asks Hey-soos about love and he says

“Love, in the universal sense, is unconditional acceptance. In the individual sense, the one-on-one sense, try this: we can say we love each other if my life is better because you're in it and your life is better because I'm in it. The intensity of the love is weighted by how much better.”

I think this is such a remarkable statement about love. It's interesting to me because as a college student I'm constantly finding myself in the "does true-love really exist?' talk with people. I've come to the conclusion that I don't know. I don't know if somewhere out there there is ONE person who is truly perfect for me. Even thinking about that is scary because what if I don't find her? How long do i wait? This passage really hit me because it's such a manageable approach to love. It broadens the sense of the word yet at the same time gives the capacity it deserves. The truth i I don't know if I'll find a "soulmate." I consider myself better off than most because there a lto in my life that I do love that a lot of people don't have. A loving family who always has my back, a best friend who's encouragement is the main reason I keep up with this blog, other friends who are always there for me to lend an ear, a hand or some money and a career path that grounded in passion. All that stuff makes my life a hell of a lot better and gives me a deeper unerstanding of life and love. I encourage you all to read Deadline it's a fast read and has more depth than I ever imagined. I definitely shed a few tears becasue as i read I ddin't just see Ben, I saw myself, and I saw all of you. So thanks for reading this and making me feel loved always. Now as great as you all are I think I'm going to go work on that girl friend thing...

My theory on theory

No matter what your chosen career path is, there are always ideas thrown around about how to do that job. In fact, we could go even broader and apply this to anything you want. Relationships, passions, religion, politics etc. Some of these ideas are old and widely used, so much so that they almost become laws. We view these theories as the bedrock or core of whatever practice you wish to apply this too. There are also new ideas emerging constantly about how to do something. Sometimes these theories will address changes in society or technology and show a new approach that addresses a necessary change in how we do things. For instance in education we used to think that didactic instruction was the only approach. Now we know through research and tests that our approach needs to be multi-faceted. So that we engage multiple types of students in multiple ways. Most people would not argue that. However sometimes theories emerge that are so controversial or threatening to our bedrock beliefs that we write them off immediately. We forget that the theories that we consider to be "foundational" to our practice, at one time were just theories. Man made ideas, conceptualized and embraced by human beings. So what's to say that that idea was not wrong? People take this stuff seriously. We drag our feet and scoff at change. I sometimes don't even like weddings in my family because I know that means we'll have a new face around the table at holidays and I don't like the idea of changing something that I've become accustomed to.

There's a famous phrase thrown around about ideas that people are afraid to embrace. They say "well that sounds like it would work in theory but probably not in practice." Which essentially is the biggest professional cop-out anyone can make. It's saying "that's a really good idea but i don't know if it will work so I won't try it." Frustrating right? And I see this day in and day out in the schools. We know how things should be done. There are always emerging concepts and philosophies in education and so many classroom teachers are afraid to try them. There are a lot of reasons why people don't want to try these new ideas, but a lot of them have to do with laziness and fear. Teachers don't want to go to through the hassle of changing lesson plans and activities they've spent years developing and they are scared of failure and perception/repercussions from other teachers and administrators. So what were left with is a bunch of ideas that are good in theory, but no one wants to try so we say they wouldn't work in practice. And what we have as a result is an institution that that has remained more or less the same for 100 years. If you took a person from 100 years ago and had them walk through present day they would be pretty taken aback and confused. But I bet they'd feel right at home in most schools.

Friday I had the chance to teach every period for the whole day. And I did something that many people told me is in possible. I facilitated a student led discussion that lasted 40 min and focused on social connections to the book, The Hunger Games, that we are reading in class with 8th graders. Now in theory, we as teachers know that discussions is where learning happens. We talk about it all the time in our Ed classes. But what happens when we get to field is, we are told that this idea of collaborative learnign and social connections is good "in theory," but impossible to use with 8th graders. You see 8th graders talk to much, and you can't trust them to participate in a discussion and stay on task and be appropriate and disagree with one another respectably. They just can't handle it. So it's better not to try it, at least this is what they say. However Friday I found out that they are full of shit.

The discussion was awesome, the kids participated and walked away with a better understanding and appreciation for the book, and I walked away understanding that the only way to know if a theory works in practice is to try it. Kids respond to new idea. They are equally as bored today with the same old stuff in school as kids were 100 years ago in a one room school house. So if we try new ideas and we challenge them to go further, more often then not they will try to rise to that level. This fear to change our teaching style is just as silly as my fear of new faces at my Thanksgiving table. Because to avoid change is to avoid growth, and adding a face at the table is also adding a present on your birthday.

Fear of Tears

Somedays you wake up and right away God smacks you with a choice. Sometimes this choice is easy like "do I want cereal or eggs" sometimes, like wednesday, it's much harder. Wednesday is the day that I'm only at my placement for half a day. Wednesday is also the day where I often get up at 6, go to teach till 11, then I have class till 5:15, then I work till 9 and do homework till about 1. So this was the day I was I had ahead of me on Wednesday, and the night before I had been up until 2 doing a paper. So my choice was this when I woke up at 645, almost an hour late: get up and go for 4 classes or get some extra sleep. So I went, and this was one of those choices that made a huge difference. Out of all my classes in the day we have two that are loud, chatty, border line out of control. Which for me is ok because,as you all know, that was me in school. In fact that's me now so I like them. So the one class is mostly good, because they're our smallest class so we can control them. The other, however, is a little less controllable. So this was my last class on wednesday. Wednesday was a review day because we have a quiz on Thursday. So while the other classes did a fun group activity, this class did one silently, as punishment. Now pedagogically I don't agree with punishing with work, but it wasn't my choice so I went with it, and as I was walking around reading over their work, I saw a girl who was struggling. So I bent don't to help her and when I say "hey [meg] how you doing today." and as soon as I said that she dropped her pencil and started to cry. Now at this moment, I'm thinking "I should have stayed in bed." I hate crying. I hate when I cry, I hate when others cry, I just don't know what to do. So I fight the urge to run and I quietly say "what's wrong?" She shook her head and said "nothing I'm fine." again I want to run. But I again I stay. " come on, what's up" I say. So she spills. She tells me she's totally lost in the book were reading and she doesn't understand and it's not fair that she has to get punished with the rest of the class. So I assure her this paper was not going to be collected and when she stops crying I get her to show me what she doesn't understand and we spend 10 minutes going through the book.

So here's why I'm glad I got out of bed. One, I learned how to interact with a student who is struggling. It felt really good to get out of my comfort zone and into the trenches and really get to the heart of a student/teacher interaction. As a teacher I need to be willing to put my students needs ahead of my own. What she needed that day was not a silent review, nor did she need a minute alone in the hallway with a tissue. She needed me to understand that she was struggling with the material and she needed me to help her. One of my favorite professors and role models told me " a great teacher teaches the way he lives and lives the way he teaches," and I never knew how true it was until Wednesday. As a teacher we are pressured to live above the students. To talk down, keep our distance and control our classroom, but that not me as a person. When I chose to console meg and help her through her questions I was establishing myself as a teacher and justifying myself as a person.

I also saw growth when I chose to address the issue with the rest of the class. I didn't yell and I didn't punish. I sat on a desk and I told them how much I value their class and their willingness to interact with one another and how pumped I am that they love the book. "but,"I said. "it is extremely frustrating to me that I can't do everything I want to do with you because I am constantly having to stop and tell you that your talking too much. And it's completely unacceptable that your talking is getting in the way of you classmates understanding. I know you're capable of better and when I come back on Friday I don't expect to hear that this has continued." I kid you not that's what I said, and you could've heard a pin drop. I didn't yell I just talked to them, and though I can't say for sure, i think they connected.

So I don't expect this story to be earth shattering for anyone, for me it was huge. But what it all goes back to was a choice, a simple choice of getting out of bed or sleeping in. And I think so much of lives is decided by the choice of simply getting out of bed and embracing whatever comes out way.


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Overachievers

Recently I had to read a book called The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids. The book is written by a journalist who follows nine students from one of the most prestigious private schools in the Nation. The kids are a mixture of Junior and Seniors and chronicles their entire school year. The book is in in depth look at the tremendous amount of pressure we put on our kids every day through extracurriculars, GPA, SAT's, AP courses, College Applications and Report cards. Essentially the book points to these factors, and the intense importance placed on them by parents and teachers, as the reasons that we are seeing one of the most burned out generations to date. The book goes on to show that all of these things are essentially not anywhere near the importance we place on them. For instance, 90% of CEO's of the fortune 500 companies did not go to an Ivy league school. In addition the pay difference between Ivy League Graduates and graduates from state schools in the same field is almost nothing. So while we pressure and pressure them to bring their SAT scores up 50 points and overload them with AP workload we are essentially only putting unnecessary stress on them; and little by little we're ruining them. It's proven that cheating both in the class and online is on the rise. Kids feel they NEED to get good grades, and all the while the quality of learning is being sacrificed. Cramming, memorizing and plagiarizing are all common practices, why? Because 1) kids feel enormous pressure and 2) it's the grade they value, not the work. As teachers we need to change the paradigm. By putting the value on skills like critical thinking, collaboration and cross-discipline connections. If we show our students that they are the most important part of our classroom, that applying the themes of a novel to their own lives is more important than a quiz and that having a class discussion is far mre important than anything I have to say, than we will see a change in the culture of schools. Less work transfers to more in-depth work that students can take pride in and care about. It all sounds a bit idealistic, but when ideals are obtainable, why not shoot for them? By pushing students to interact with their material and promoting personal growth we will be preparing students for college. And by acquiring these life long learning skills and raising their self efficacy, instead of their blood pressure, we will be in turn preparing them for success; be it at Harvard or HACC.

SOOOOO Much Going on

Hey guys, sorry to keep everyone in suspense, I suck at blogging. Luckily the lovely Maggie Cardin got on my case about updating so here you go. The biggest thing to happen to me in the past couple of weeks was presenting at the PATELA (PA Teachers of Engl and Lang Arts) conference in Pittsburgh. I was apart of a 4 person panel of MU students presenting papers from last semester. The paper was from my Teaching Writing class and was a part of my Writing partners project. For this project we were paired with a freshman composition student and asked to identify a weakness in their writing and work with that student to fix it. The presentation went really well, but the highlight of the conference was listening to published authors talk. One woman, Linda Christensen, is the author of a book titled Writing for Joy and Social Justice. She is an ENGL teacher in Portland Oregon (shout out to Augusta) and she does some amazing things. Showed us this video of a slam poet, for those of you who don't know slam poetry is very rhythmic powerful poetry similar to freestyle rap, and besides making me tear up, also has very serious possibilities for the classroom. Take a look.

I also heard an author named chris crutcher speek. He write young adult novels usually centered around sports and does an awesome job of engaging teenage boys. In addition to this, everyone of his novels is banned in schools for their heavy subject matter and language. Chris was an amazing speaker and such an awesome story teller. I cant wait to use his stuff in my class. This is a short video of chris speaking about being banned which gives an awesome sense of who he is.

So anyway life is good. I'm busy and i'm tired but I love it. I ask that you guys keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I deal with everything on my plate. I recently had a student who lost his father very suddenly and it's tough to know what to say and do as a teacher. Hope you all are well I'd love to have you comment on here. I'll leave you with one last video thats been inspiring me recently.

Too Many Books

So I was faced with a haunting realization today; the books I read and love will not be the books I teach. Let me elaborate. We took a trip to Lancaster City Library and received a book talk on something I had forgotten all about; Young Adult (YA) books. I've spent the last 4 years becoming all kinds of caught up in Hemingway, Faulkner, Thoreau, Shakespeare, Dante the list goes on and on. I had forgotten that these books are not what kids are taught. Further more they have no interest in them. WHich led me to an even darker, scarier thought. To really succeed as a teacher I need to change or a least diversify my library, and (here's where it gets really scary) I'm going to have to jump on whatever ridiculous literary bandwagon they do, ie. Harry Potter, Twilight etc., just so I can A) relate to them and B) Recommend books they will like. Because as much as it hurts me to say it I'm not going to win any points with them by referencing Hemingway and The Iliad. Don't get me wrong it's not all bad. I recently read The Hunger Games which is not only a huge YA hit right now but also a very good book and I'm going to be teaching it to my kids in the spring. But it just seems a bit daunting thinking about how much more reading I have to do even after graduation. So if anyone can remember a book that really impacted you between 7-12 grade please post it here.

THE GIRL THAT SILENCE THE WORLD FOR 5 MINUTES!

This is the video I reference below

Welcome

Hey all! I'm pretty pumped about the idea of ranting on here for you all to read and comment on. For starters lets talk about life. I'm currently placed in an 8th grade English class at Manhiem Township Middle School. When I first learned this I was not thrilled. I really wanted to be in a high school. But after really only a week in the class I completely changed my mind. There is just such an energy level with middle school that i really underestimated. I love the kids, my co-ops great and I'm really excited to take the reigns. I think what I want this to blog to be, more than just a journal of my day to day encounters, is a chance to converse over things I'm learning and seeing. So check out this video. You yall know my conservative ass doesn't get too caught up in the environment but this video struck me. What really struck me was this girl was initially encouraged by a teacher, and I think this really speaks not only to the environmental issues we face today, but the power each one of us has as adults to influence kids either positively or negatively.



I think that's pretty cool. So I'll get more in depth and specific as we go but I inks that's good for now. Hope you all stay in touch, I'm going to try and update you daily. Be well!




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