So Friday I had an interesting day. I was tired. This is nothing new, I burn the candle on both ends with teaching, working, studying, TV, movies and all sorts of other shenanigans. You all are no stranger to this feeling of just being worn out that hits you on a Friday. I was pumped because my co-op had this grammar scavenger hunt for the kids to do, so I would not have too much to deal with. I was planning on meandering through the day, making some conversation with the kids as they went along their hunt and overall just relax. You know that saying about how you can make God laugh? Tell him your plans. yea well it's true.
It all went so well until 6th period. This boy, lets call him Corey, comes in. Now what you need to know about Corey is he's immature, doesn't fit in, will do anything for a laugh and to feel like he fits in and has a shitty home life. He's one of those kids that you totally understand why he's having a rough time, but you still don't like him. So Friday he's bouncing off the walls during this scavenger hunt and I can't get him to focus. I talk to him repeatedly, yet still his partners doing all the work while he's bouncing around from group to group getting on people's last nerve in hopes of a laugh. So finally I insert myself into his group and he begins to focus a bit.
At this point lunch lets out and the hallways flood with kids. I'm talking to Corey's partner when I see him get his "I'm about to piss someone off" grin on his face. A girl, lets call her Dejonae, walks by and Corey yells "HI DEJONAE!" and trys to touch her. She immediately is in his face and yells "I fu*kin told you if you ever talk to me again I'll strangle you!" and walks away. I'm fighting th urge to laugh because In my head I know this kid has probably been waring her down for weeks and only said hi to her for this reaction. Corey looks right to me and demands justice. I tell him I didn't know the girl and I ask him what he did to deserve that reaction. He flips. Yelling about how "this school sucks" "None of the teachers care" and he goes on and on so I say alright were going to the room.
This is where teacher Spencer has to fight normal Spencer. Normal Spencer wants to tell this kid to man up, stop acting like a little girl throwing a fit and maybe stop bothring kids he knows wants to beat him up. I take a deep breath. I look him in the eye. I say "Corey we need to talk about self control. I am constantly having to tell you to get on task. You yell out inappropriate things, you leave your seat and if you had some more self control you wouldn't have intentionally bothered that girl. That being said, I'm sorry I didn't do anything, I was focusing on your partner who had a question. If you feel threatened by her, we'll go to the office and report it right now." I'm pretty proud of that response. He didn't like it so much. He began to explain to me how he was on task, how I didn't care, how no teacher cares and how that girl had no right and he was just being nice by saying hi. He tells me she's going to get her friends to beat him up. "ok," i said. "Lets go talk to the principle then."
"No."he says. "If we do that he's just going to call my dad and he'll be mad at me and he'll just hit me."
Now my stomach drops. I have no idea what to say to that. I say "what do you mean by that?"
He says "Nothing. It doesn't matter noone cares. We'll Just let her friends beat me up. I hope they beat me real bad so everyone feels bad. I hope they kill me."
Now I'm kind of just getting pissed because he's saying stuid things that I know are for attention. I say "Corey, don't say things like that."
He says "Why, I mean it. It would be better if I was dead." "Alright I say were going to the counseling office then."
The bells going to ring for lunch in 8 min and his whole expression changes. "No, I'm fine I already was down there today and I dont want to miss lunch."
"Corey," I say probably lacking a certain amount of compassion. "This isn't option, you can't say things like that and expect me to do nothing."
"No," he pleads. "I didnt mean it, I was joking she's not going to do anything, and I don't want to die."
"Well you know what Corey," I say showing him that I'm not laughing. "I brought you up here to talk to you man to man about self-control. You told me you didn't have a problem, that it was my problem. Now your saying all this stuff you said wasn't true. Well maybe next time, you'll have a bit more self control, but for now we have to go to the counseling office because I'm not equipped to handle what you've been saying."
So we went. ANd we chatted for about 30 min. In the end I got to express that I do indeed care for him. The counselor showed him how all his problems stem from his own actions. ANd I reported the threat to the vice principal, even though he, the counselor and I all agreed it was empty and probably warranted. This was the first time I've had to put a students needs before my own personal thoughts and feelings. My gut wanted to turn and walk away as soon as I heard that girl yell at him. Part of me wanted to send him to the room before that even happened for acting like an idiot instead of doing his work. This was the first time I really realized that my classrooms are going to have kids that I probably won't like, and that's ok. The problem comes when I neglect the needs of that student because of my personal feelings toward them.
I don't think I handled this encounter perfectly. In the future I hope to exercise a lot more patience. However I saw it through to the end and kept my emotions in check. Overall I was relatively pleased with that. I'm going to try to post again before Thanksgiving, I apologize the posts have been so sparce lately. If I don't though I want you all to know how thankful I am for this blog. It's awesome to have a space to not only share my experiences with you but also for myself to reflect on them. Most of all I'm thankful for all of you. I know I don't contact any of you enough individually, but your love, support and prayers mean the world to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment